This little girl means the world to me. I am a pastor and a believer in Christ but I want you to know that if you would harm or even try to harm my little girl, I would absolutely bring the hammer down on you – again and again and again. You can decide for yourself whether the hammer is meant to be figuratively or literally. She is my life and I would do whatever it took to protect her. I would bet that many fathers feel the same way about their little girls as well, as they should. You see I believe with all my heart that one of the roles God has given to fathers, and expects them to fill, is that of protector.
But are we protecting her from our own inaction? Inaction is a lack of action where some is expected or appropriate. Too many times we interact with our daughters when they are little, but a strange thing happens as they get older and start to become a woman; we daddies begin to pull back and have a lack of action in their life. What kind of message are we sending our daughter when we begin to withdrawal just because “we don’t understand her anymore”? Just for the record that is a lame excuse. We cannot, we must not allow this to happen for it is during this time of their life they need us, their daddy, the most.
Our daughters need to see us as their protectors. Protection does not mean just that we protect them from harm, although it certainly includes that, but it means that we build security into our daughter’s life. Protection builds security, right? When a daughter sees her daddy fulfilling the role of protector, when she knows that he would give his life for her’s without hesitation, that he will stand for her and support her in all she does then she will become a secure woman and thrive in life.
Our daughters need to see in us what a real man looks like. Not a physically strong man or athletic man or perfect man, but a real man. In my opinion a real man is one who stands for what is right no matter if he is the only one. He stands by his convictions and not deterred just because the majority says he is wrong. He is a man who loves his wife sacrificially and is faithful to her only. As a believer he is a man who leads his family spiritually and lifts them up in prayer daily. He is a man who loves God with all his heart, soul, and mind. He is a man who loves knowledge and wisdom. He is a man of integrity in every part of his life. If we display this type of man to our daughters I believe she will not only settle for less in the man she marries, but she herself will learn to be a strong woman.
Our daughters need us to be active in their life. Notice that I said be active in THEIR life. We think spending time with our daughter means inviting her along with us while we do the things we are interested in, but that is just being selfish. Now I think it is good to invite her to go golfing with you or to go to a sporting event or go fishing and yes some girls, many even, like those things but if all you ever do is try to get her to go along with your likes and not ever make an attempt to attend events she likes, again what message is that sending? It sends the message, “I only want to spend time with you when it suits me and is something I enjoy.” Go to a football game to watch her play in the marching band. Take time out of your weekend and go to a cheerleading tournament. Go watch her sing. Go to her art show. Go watch her perform in a play. Take her out on a date, just the two of you. By the way when you are active in her life it also means you know what is going on and that is a vital part in being able to protect her.
Our daughters need us to show them love. You may have heard the joke about the husband who said “I told my wife the day I married her that I loved her and if I ever change my mind I’ll let her know.” A man needs to tell his wife time and time again that he loves her and show it. But it is equally important to let your daughter know that she is loved by you. Our little girls need to feel their daddy’s arms around them. No matter how physically fit or how skinny you are, your arms are the biggest, most secure things to your little girl. Now it is easy when they are little but for some it becomes difficult as they come into their teen years and begin to change into young ladies. They need to know during those years especially that their daddy is not afraid to touch her and pull her to himself. As I said earlier a young lady needs to feel her father’s arms around her, but if that father begins to withhold that affection because he is uncomfortable for whatever reason she will find someone who is not afraid to show affection and not afraid to touch her. Unfortunately many times she looks to the wrong kind of man who only wants her body to satisfy his needs. Embracing our daughters and showing them what true, pure love really is, is protecting them. Fathers pull your daughter close, hold her while you can because one day you will walk her down the aisle to let her go.
Lastly our daughters need us to affirm their worth. Your daughter is priceless, dad, treat her that way. Tell her and show her that she is valued by you and by God. Make sure the guys she goes out with understand her worth, (you may want to include that you will run fingerprints after their date and if his fingerprints are found anywhere on her besides her hands, then he will lose his.) Fathers teach your daughter that her worth is not found in how much skin she shows, how short her shorts are, or how skimpy her bathing suit is, her worth comes from the Creator who made her in His image. Teach her that her greatest treasure she can hold on to is her purity. Purity of mind, purity of soul, and purity of body.
Fathers let us start taking action in our daughters lives.
It is time to man up and be her Daddy.